The meaning of happiness and how to get there Part 1 of 2

As I was taking my morning walk alongside the beach, I felt incredibly happy. Nothing particular had happened except for the habitual crashing of the waves, flocks of pelicans’ skimming on the ocean’s surface, children’s giggles and the sun’s warmth piercing through the puffy white clouds. As my toes disappeared in the sand, I asked myself about the true meaning of happiness.

I have coached tons of people in the last 10 years and studied the many laws that govern success. All of us want what happiness, right? But what is it really? And why is it so important? Please stay tuned even if you think you know the answers as it might not be what you think.

Evidently happiness is not linked to possessions or status or even the reaching of goals. Most of us know this, others still believe that by acquiring more, the soul will feel fulfilled. But, we all know that, as soon as we reach a goal, acquire something we wanted for so long, or get to a new level of achievements, we move on to the next. Most of us do not even spend a second in rejoicing in what was supposed to make us happy. That’s where the saying “the journey, not the destination”…

So what then? And how can one remain in that state all the time (and yes, it is possible)? but first, why? Why is happiness so important. I know it seems obvious. But is it? Here are some reasons why happiness if so important in your life.

Two premises need to be understood. Happiness is equivalent to the love of life. And, the mind, body and soul can process only one feeling or thought at the time. Therefore, when there is happiness, joy or love; there cannot be a simultaneous sadness, fear, anger, hate…

The love of life is antonym to fear or death. The love of life will bring you more positive experiences. More reasons for the mind, body and soul to stay in life rather than drift towards death. Life is expansive, it is knowledge, curiosity, enthusiasm. You will experience more of these feelings and experiences while loving life. While death is dis-ease (the lack of ease), leading to fear, stress, anxiety and sickness.

Happiness is antonym to sadness and stress. The happier you feel, the less stress you experience. Stress being a major cause of health disasters, the happier you feel, the healthier you will be. You will sleep, digest, and even think better. Happiness provokes endorphin hormones in the brain which helps you learn faster, find creative solutions, solve problems, leading to less stress. And there goes the merry-go-round.

When studying neuroscience, the universal laws of prosperity and even quantum physics (which lead me to the same conclusions), I found that happiness will attract more of the same. The more you focus on something, the more your brain will lead you to more of the same. The law of attraction premise goes in the same direction. Therefore, the happier you feel, the more chances you have of experiencing circumstances that will make you happy.

But then, you say, how can I be happy all the time? Especially when things don’t go as I want them to? How can I decide of my emotions?

You need to be aware that you are always in control of your emotions. The only thing is that you have decided, at some point, to place them on auto-pilot, and to constantly re-act to your outer circumstances. When you switch gears to manual control, you will realize that your outer circumstances will start to change, that the outer world will re-act to your emotions and not the other way around.

My favorite quote from Wayne Dyer is “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change.”

If I ask you to think about the saddest day of your life, and if you do, your mood will change to sadness. If I then immediately ask you to think of the happiest day you have experienced in your life, your mood will change abruptly, even though nothing will have changed in the outside world. How come? Your mind via your thoughts controls your emotions.

How then can we “practice” happiness? I chose the word “practice” because that is what it truly is. You can practice stress, doubts, fears, anxiety or you can practice happiness, gratitude, appreciation, love… Because of the law of substitution, you cannot feel two emotions at the same time. What you give your experience to (your thoughts, energy…) that is what you practice. The more you practice, the better you become at resorting to that option first and the more comfortable you become in that state of being.

Comfort is always attracting us back to it. That is the place where we feel safe and secure. If your place of safety is stress and anxiety, you will create a life that leads you to feel more of the same. That is how the brain works. It follows orders (you can learn more about that in my system “Boost your Brain Power” here).

In the next article, I will give you 10 ways you can feel happier and practice happiness daily until you become a master of happiness and witness in awe how your world shifts to incredible positive circumstances.

If you want to learn how to reach your goals at Godspeed, I created a 16 hours course to help you, click here: http://attractitude.us/know-it-all-to-have-it-all/

10 simple rules for success

After watching numerous interviews with successful people in many different industries and reading tons of books on the subject trying to understand how one can become successful, I noticed a pattern or, at least 10 similarities (or rules) that came up every time.

One might begin by questioning the definition of the word “success”. I won’t go into that simply because, at the the root of it, lies the same wanting, the same craving: to become more than what and who we are. As Kundera, one of my favorite authors would say “Anyone whose goal is ‘something higher’ must expect someday to suffer vertigo. What is vertigo? Fear of falling? No, Vertigo is something other than fear of falling. It is the voice of the emptiness below us which tempts and lures us, it is the desire to fall, against which, terrified, we defend ourselves.”

1- You got to be in the present moment.

All of them agree that too much time and energy are wasted when worrying about the future or dwelling on the past. Your power lies in the “now”.

 

2- Love what you do

As all say it: If you don’t love it enough, you will quit and that’s why most people do. You will be challenged, there will be problems. Your passion can help you overcome all obstacles. As Wayne Dyer would say it “Doing what you love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life.”

3- Persevere

Know that you will fall, you will have problems, it will be tough. But as J.K. Rowlings says “It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.”

Hang in there. The hurricane shall pass. Nothing ever lasts. Stay with it, walk through the storm. Move forward everyday. No matter what, don’t quit. You cannot fail if you don’t stop. Like Winston Churchill said “If you are going through Hell, keep on going.” And also, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

And then you will say it just like Barry Manilow in his song “I made it through the rain.” Because nothing ever lasts, enjoy the success while it last and prepare for the next hurricane.

4- Don’t do it for the money

The richest people in the world never did it for the money. That’s where most people get it wrong. They get into a field for the money and quit because the love is not there. Love what you do, the money will come. As Matthew McConaughey in the movie “Gold”: “We never did it for the money, we did it for the gold.” There is a big difference.

5- Meditate

All successful people quiet their minds, void the noise. In the silence, you will find the answers. Mostly, you will find peace. As Warren Buffet says “I insist on a lot of time being spent, almost every day, to just sit and think. That is very uncommon in American business. I read and think. So I do more reading and thinking, and make less impulse decisions than most people in business. I do it because I like this kind of life.”

6- Be the best

You don’t need to be perfect. As Dali would say “Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.” You just need to be better. The better you are, the more noticeable you will become. Work on your craft day in and day out. As Will Smith says “When others sleep, I work. When others eat, I work.” If you are the best, you will not feel the need to prove yourself. You will be honest and have integrity because you will know, you are better. And those two qualities are worth gold. As Einstein would say “Try not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value.”

Don’t underestimate others by creating a low quality product. You will not cheat others, you’ll end up cheating yourself.

7- Believe in yourself

No one will ever believe in you more than you. At the beginning of anything, your belief and confidence will be the only allies you will have. But the more you believe and have confidence, the more the others will listen and, eventually follow. As Marianne Williamson would say “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

8- Dream big

You are the one who can set your limits. You have the choice, the power and responsibility to be limitless. As Les Brown would say “Shoot for the moon and if you miss you will still be among the stars.” or Leo Burnett “When you reach for the stars you may not quite get one, but you won’t come up with a handful of mud either.”

If you start with low expectations, you never get big results.(That’s my quote). And then, imagine yourself there, act as if you were already there. Before you know it, you will be.

9- Surround yourself with the best

Build a great team or a mastermind group of piers. Remember that successful people talk about goals and ideas, sharing them and getting feed back on how to improve. As Jim Rohn would say “you’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” Chose carefully. If you cannot find 5 friends that have the statues, income, relationship, you want; chose among the deceased: read books.

10- Stay hungry

Never take anything for granted. Stay open, stay curious, stay enthusiastic. Never settle for something less than what you dreamed of. As Warren Buffet “read, read, read” as he reads 5-6 hours per day. Educate yourself. As Tom Hiddleston would say “Stay hungry, stay young, stay foolish, stay curious, and above all, stay humble because just when you think you got all the answers, is the moment when some bitter twist of fate in the universe will remind you that you very much don’t.”

11- A last one for the road

Don’t give a damn about what others think. Most of the time, they think about what you might be thinking about them. Their opinions will vary and they won’t say most of what they really think. If you succeed, they might be jealous and pull you down to their level of comfort so that your light does not cause them to live in a shadow. You are the person you will spend the most time with, treasure that, first.

Hope this inspires and motivates. Please share with others, to spread the light.

10 unusual tips for creating bigger successful goals

It’s that time of year, folks! You can do them, you can hide, you can imagine excuses why you don’t need ’em… It is that time, that jolly time when you get to create your future.

Most people see goals (or some sadly call them “resolutions”) as a list of stuff we may or may not get, a wish, an aim, a “pff, alright why not” kinda thing or a “it never works for me, why do it, ok, I’ll do it anyway” kinda attitude.

For me and a few others of my species, we consider goal setting as a marvelous time of year! A festive time when we get to take a bran new white canvas and draw on it exactly what our year is going to look like (apart for a bit of necessary surprises and fun challenges along the way). We, get to create a fabulous non existing reality, and then, see it unfold in front of our exited eyes (and the incredulous eyes of our neighbors).

If you wanna be one of us, and create your future, here are 10 unusual tips to help you, not create goals (how boring is that?) but create BIG goals that you WILL achieve (how thrilling is that?!) Let’s start before I already lose you to your doubts and fears.

1- You got a wand

Before you even start, you need to know, understand and believe that you have a magic wand and everything you decide will be made into reality. I know it’s like telling you that Santa exists. Well folks, drum roll, Santa exists! He is inside you!

Remember that you will need to write them on paper (just as if you wrote to Santa) and read them everyday (many times a day) or re-write them to keep you on track for the next 365 days.

2- Are you ready for the ride?

The bigger the goals, the more rapid the joy ride to get there. Time (or the length of) is defined by you and only you. You can have anything in a specific time. You need only to commit to the growth it will involve to get you there faster.

Achieving means transformation. It means learning, it means becoming someone different than the person you are. You might have growing pains by growing faster but, I can assure you, it is worth it. Anyway, why wait 10 years to get something you can have in one? You’d have 9 years to do other stuff.

For example, I read the post of someone who was so exited to have finally completed his first screenplay, 19 years (19 years!!!???) in the making. Imagine if it is a flop? I wrote 3 in 4 months and already have 5 awards. Which do you choose?

3- Make them clear and specific

You wanna car? what model, year, make, color, number of miles, interior, price. A house? what neighborhood (address is even better) size, rooms, interior decor…? A wife: qualities, faults, …? You get the picture. Make your picture as clear as possible. Describe in details. Make them so clear you can already feel touch and taste them (am not talking about the wife here).

Something very important: don’t make them all about stuff you don’t have yet. Make them also about stuff you have, being improved. You love your body, improve it still. You love your wife, how much more can you improve the relationship? Know that what ever isn’t growing dies, nothing ever stays the same. The relationship is dying. Probably malnourished!

You can be specific (it has to be measurable) about any goal. Love translates to time. You want more precious time with your kids: how many hours, doing what? You want to make your wife happier? what exactly are you going to do daily about it? You want more money? How much (savings, earnings, net worth…)?

4- Bigger is better

Multiply them by 10. You got the wand right? For those who are saying, “I don’t need 10 times more”. Fine! make them 10 times bigger anyway, achieve them and give me the difference. I’ll be ok with it. In other words, why limit yourself? You can be in better shape, have much better relationships, make more money, and all.

5- Plan backwards

Start at the end of next year and ask yourself the following question? In order for me to achieve this goal at the end of the year, what will I have needed to have accomplished by the end of November. Then: to get to the goals at the end of November, what do I need accomplished by October. And so on, until you get to January 1st and know what steps, actions.. you will need to make to get to the goals at the end of the month.

6- What are you gonna get rid of?

If you’re gonna have new stuff in your life, you’ll need to get rid of some old stuff. What I mean by that is. (If you laugh and say, “if I want a new wife, I gotta get rid of the…” funny and not so far from what I am saying).

Every year, month, week or day; there are 2 questions that should always be in the back of your mind:

a- Is what I am doing right this moment bringing me closer to my goals? If the answer is no, stop, switch, move on…

b- If I knew what I know now would I still be (working here, in this relationship, with this friends, in this house, in this business…)? If the answer is “no”, the next question is “what do I need to do to get out of it as fast as I can”?

Time is our most precious possession. Most valuable than gold, diamonds or money. Time is irreplaceable and never, ever to be wasted. You can do “nothing” if you feel like it, that is not wasting time. It is resting, relaxing, … But if you do “nothing” to change something that is costing you, that is a sad waste.

The worse thing you can do is be busy at something that is non important. 80% of time is wasted that way. Don’t just move dust around. Take one step, but one forward in the direction of what you are trying to accomplish.

You are also going to lose some things or people. When we grow fast and achieve a lot of stuff, we leave some people in the dust behind. You can act like Forest Gump and run back to get them. Some will react just like Captain Dan and hate you for it. It is a choice.

You might leave your neighborhood, your country, your kids, your friends, your job, … Be ready for losing as a part winning.

7. Who will you be?

Who is the successful (entrepreneur, lover, juggler, runner….) person you will become? What do you need to change inside you to become that person who reached that goal? List the qualities you lack and learn to develop them. If you want a relationship and you listed the qualities of your future beloved, learn to become that which you seek. Because who you seek, seeks it’s equivalent.

Also, you can drop some old thought patterns, some behaviors, negative habits, … And forgive, you will feel much lighter traveling forward.

8. Imagine it

Visualization is the most powerful tool we have. If you can’t imagine your goal, your will never achieve it, no matter what you do to get there.

Spend 15 minute daily in that goal, feeling it with every molecule. Bathe in the satisfaction of accomplishment. You’ll notice that the 15 minutes you use, will bring you ideas and will open up your eyes to a lot of opportunities.

Feel the joy, celebrate in advance. Share your dream (with people who get it and shut up people “dream killers”)

9. What can you do today?

There must be one small action you can immediately take: join a gym, a business association, a meetup for singles, … on small step for you, a large leap for… you know what I mean

Remember to plan! 1 hour spent planning saves 10 hours of doing, making, failing, returning to the beginning, redoing, hating yourself for not having thought of it sooner, losing sleep, stressing…

10. Relax and have fun.

Don’t worry so much. The one thing you need to understand is that, the person who has everything wants nothing and feels completely relieved, relaxed, has fun in the simple every day things. You need to become the person you will be once you have it all, before you have it all, to all it all.

And if you need an expert in helping you reach outrageous goals (or normal or small ones), am here. slavicainc@gmail.com

 

3 important questions to start the year on the right foot

How many of you have started planning the year ahead? You are all aware that ”failing to plan is planning to fail” as Alan Lakein would say.

How many of you are tired of planning and not achieving their goals. You set objectives and then, come January 2nd, as 90% of other people, you forget them. Or worse, you have decided to no longer have any ”New Year resolutions”, goals, or dreams because you don’t want to be disappointing again, or you fear that your friend will mock you if you fail.

Well, first of all, who care about what others think, right? And if they haven’t tried anything and, therefore, never failed, doesn’t make them more successful, on the contrary.

I want you to set goals and achieve them! Therefore, here are 3 questions you might ask that would help you.

1- What are 10 things I would really really really want to achieve this year?

Here you can list 10 goals (big or very small) that you want to achieve. You need not share this information with anyone and I seriously recommend you don’t, for many reasons.

The second question is:

2- How would achieving all these goals make me feel, why do I want to achieve them?

Here, list at least 25 reasons why you want to reach those objectives. And describe in full length how you would feel: successful, relieved, happy, relaxed, stable, healthier… And, please, DWELL on the feelings every single day. Read that list of motivations and bathe yourself in the positive feelings of having achieved your goals everyday for at least 15 minutes.

Your brain feeds off the positive energy and will become much more creative in finding ways for you to reach those goals.

3- What can I do (3 actions) every day to reach that goal?

List 3 things, big or small you can do to get there. These things might change over the course of the year. More actions might be added with time. The most important is that you add them in your planner and do them.

You can divide large tasks into small ”chewable” tasks so you can easily add it to your schedule.

Expect the positive you seek because the positive seeks you. Every time you expect a negative outcome, you shut the door to the positive that was just about to walk in…

Hope this helps. If you need a boost and a success coach with a proven record to make sure you get ”there” fast, let me know: slavicainc@gmail.com

Start the year on the right foot: Be Positive about your life!

Negativity does not only exist in the thoughts although that is the most subtle form of negativity. It also resides in words and actions. We learned earlier how important words are in controlling your destiny. Therefore, there are some major words we should learn to part from such as the ones we used for gossiping, complaining, blaming, swearing, insulting and using sarcasm. Words contain some form of magic. You send a message to the Universe when you talk, a signal, a wave. When you send out a negative wave, you create a negative magic. I believe that speaking negatively is like spitting in the air, not taking into account the law of gravity or sending out a boomerang and not thinking it will make a round circle and come directly back at you. Continue reading “Start the year on the right foot: Be Positive about your life!”

Usa Hero’s hall of Shame: Making heros out of criminals from Morgan Freeman’s comment

Connecticut shooting, Friday 14, 2012: Law of Attraction and destruction
I was shocked by Friday’s news and thought I would take a couple of days to meditate and pray. And what appears to me as SO obvious, is that I need to make http://wechangeworlds.com
even bigger so that the hero’s of this world are effectively the children and NOT the assassins of the children. I have had ENOUGH of the emphasis put on media to shine the light on the evil, negative and make heros out of killers. ENOUGH!!! I definitely need help to build wechangeworlds and if any of you has ideas on where one can find where to create more funds to develop the website, I would love to hear. I will need to hire people full time so that we have more and fresh news and we take the light and shine on the children…before more victims are made! This is my heart calling. If the Universe hears me, please answer my prayer! God and Angels come to me now!

Continue reading “Usa Hero’s hall of Shame: Making heros out of criminals from Morgan Freeman’s comment”