Many people say that failure is a part of success.. I disagree. They confuse failing and stumbling on the road to success. Failure sucks! I hate it and I wish it nobody. We might stumble, miss a step, fall and get up. But failing feels horrible especially when they are ways to avoid most failures.
I could easily write a book about this subject but it would take slightly longer. Here are my top ten general reasons why most people fail.
1- You don’t know what you want.
Wait! Before you skip to the next one. Most people say “yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what I want.” But when I ask them, “what do you want, what is your 5 top goals in the next 5 years, 3, 2, 1, 6 months, 1 months, tomorrow, they become deer caught in headlights. Most people answers to the question “what do you want?” by thinking in terms of “what do I think possible for me to get considering the current circumstances.” which definitely limits your horizons.
2- No clarity
Then, I get the 5-10% of people who have kind of an idea of what they want. Very vague. Like if I would ask you where do you want to live and you answer Florida. You might end up in the swamps of the everglades in Florida with alligators as neighbors. You need to be precise to the extreme. Most people hesitate here because they don’t believe it is possible to get “exactly what you want” therefore they never get what they want, exactly.
3- No action plan
“I want a million bucks.” Great, I reply. How do you plan on getting there? I get reacquainted with the deer. Planning every step lives less to the odds. But then there is a small catch, you also need to…
Know consciously that shit is going to hit the fan. And being certain that you are ready but unexpected events. That your self confidence is high enough to take the blows and get up again. The boxer knows he is going to get beaten up. He expects it and knows he will have to take them to get to the end. Also, it is about knowing that you can never be 100% ready. So it means to…
4- Remain flexible. You will get obstacles. Welcome them with open arms, challenge them to come in great numbers and you can take them on. Why? Obstacles spices up life (that’s one) and secondly you need them to grow into the person you need to be to support the level of success you desire. For those that don’t believe the spice analogy. Remember the last trip you talked about. What was the thrilling part. The surprise of the view. The car that was towed. The plane tickets that were found at the last minute? Spices!
5- You have a plan “B”. As Will Smith puts it. If you don’t have a plan “B”, you make sure you succeed in plan A. That is why you have to be absolutely certain what you want is REALLY what YOU really want. And that you will accept nothing else, nothing less.
6- You listen to your demons. They whisper in your ear “you will fail!”, “You don’t need to do this”, “You are incapable to succeeding”, “Who do you think you are!”, “You were comfortable”, “Everyone is going to make fun of you”, … Going in a new direction or attempting to have much more success than you are used to will lead you out of your comfort zone which will automatically create a re-action causing anxiety, panic attacks, fear… It is normal and you should be thankful. Created by the same system which helped our species survive, that fear based reaction is positive. Listening and buying into it, that’s another thing.
7- You can’t imagine it. It can’t see yourself past the success you planed, you will never get there. You will always fail right before you achieve it. Again, you cannot have an “end”. If your goal is the “ultimate goal”, your system will block you from reaching it to protect you because it assimilates the end as your death. You need to be able to imagine and feel as if you have already achieved that goal. In others words, the goal you seek so much must become unimportant and slightly boring.
8- You change your mind along the way. If you change your plans at every bump, that resembles deciding to live in Alaska instead of Florida because you got caught in traffic along the way. You need to give it time and stick with the original idea.
9- You don’t have a time frame in mind. I know people who have worked on a project for years. They delay it every month. Eventually, the project becomes obsolete or they lose too much energy along the way.
10- You were not ready to accept the other side of the medal of success. Becoming successful also means having more responsibilities, doing more, dealing with more people, saying “no” more often, being more vigilant, delegating more, serving more, helping more…. You need to be ready to take the whole package deal of success, if you really want it.
Hope this helps. If you need a coach to get you there faster, showing you the bumps so you can avoid them and help you solve problems, get clear, deal with your own limitations. fears… contact me at slavica(inc)gmail.com.