We are all selling something: a book, a car, a movie, ideas, shoes, ourselves… What ever we do, we sell, we want to convince. Why were you not able to do so? Here are 5 reasons.
Before I was an award winning author, I was an award winning sales person. Either award stick to me or I developed a way to excellence in all I do…
I started selling in my family pastry at the age of 8. I understood a few things right there and then. These also might help you achieve more success when dealing with others (in personal or business relationships)
1- You didn’t prepare
If you are not prepared, you are prepared to fail. What does preparation mean. You researched the person, company.. you were trying to convince, sell to, win over, date… You don’t know what they like and what they are like.
Also, you possibly prepared for that one connection. You think in terms of selling between 9 and 5, having that important meeting, being on that date. But, you are not prepared 24-7. You can find the partner, buyer, lover… at the coffee shop, at the supermarket… be prepared always. Have you elevator speech in head all the time.
2- You are all about the ”yes” and not about the ”no”
You didn’t think of all the objections the other person may address so you can talk about them before they are even mentioned. Unwrap the elephant in the room as soon as possible. Prepare for all the ”no”s your potential partner, buyer, lover… might think of.
3- You made it all about you
I see this so often. People talking about them, who they are, what they offer…me, me, me, me. The truth is. Nobody cares about you because everybody is in the ”me”. You want to talk to someone, talk to them about them. Avoid the ”I” and ”me” as much as possible and ask question to discover the ”you”.
4- You didn’t listen
Listening is absolutely not about thinking about your answers while the other person is speaking and thinking of jumping in as soon as they stop talking. It is not about only opening your ears and hearing their voice.
Listening is about watching one’s person body language, nuances in speech patterns, hesitations… A lot is said in the unsaid. Also, listen completely, entirely. Have you ever felt totally listened to. You get a sense of a void at the other end, someone who is devouring what you say without thinking of anything else than what you are saying. It feels good, doesn’t it? Do the same.
When the person is done, leave a silence. Digest what you heard and repeat it in your own words. ”If I understand correctly, what you are saying is”. That will help number 5
5- The other person was not important enough
You should remember that everyone holds a sign above their heads saying ”make me feel important”. People literally die from a lack of feeling of importance, when neglected and forgotten. When you speak to someone, add something about them that will make them feel good: a compliment, remembering something positive they have done n the past, a detail may make the difference. The more you make people feel important, the more they will love you. It has to genuine though. You cannot fake it. you need feel it. If you cannot, you need work on yourself first to improve your self esteem.
6- You were too hungry
A boss I once had told me that you always need to ”stay hungry yet look like you just had a full meal”. Breathe, relax, detach yourself from the outcome. It will be helped by 7.
7- You had no options
There is nothing worse than depending on that one deal, one person, one sale, on meeting. Confidence is build by the amount of choices one has. Increase the number of people you connect with. help many people achieve their goals and the number of your options will increase systematically.
8- You didn’t tune in to WIIFM
Another boss once taught me that you always need to tune in to the radio station WIIFM ”What’s in it for me”. You always need to express what other people gain from helping you, being with you, partnering with you.
I will make a separate post on knowing the difference between a benefit and an advantage. You must speak in terms of benefits and not advantages if you want to get a ”yes”
9- You didn’t connect emotionally
People never buy intellectually. We buy emotionally. We buy because we love the person, or because we connect at a deeper level, because we feel that person deserves it, because she or he is nice, kind, likable, loving…
We buy when we believe in your ”why”, your set of values, your purpose, your intentions,… you can learn from Simon Sinek ”Why” to find out more. Make your intentions clear. Again, this must be heartfelt and true. You cannot fake values or intentions. And we feel other people.
That is the reason why sometimes, the whole project will make sense intellectually and we’ll end up not buying because something was ”off”. That ”off” comes from out gut, our ”why”, our emotions.
10- You didn’t shut up
Another one of my sales mentor used to yell at us in sales meeting ”shut the f… up!!” he used to say, from the top of a table he perched on. Once you have said all you needed to say, shut up. Let the other person think. Give that person the trust that they can think things over for themselves. Let them take the time to review the options and bring you their concerns, doubts, objections, so you can discuss them. Be open to a rejection, you will get less of them. Shut up.
If you need help closing deals (all kinds of deals), hire me at firstname.lastname@example.org