Find out what you like doing best, and get someone to pay you for doing it.
I am writing this article because I see so many jobs seekers making so many mistakes online. I want to help you become successful. Please share this post so that many can benefit from these advice. Before I decided to jump into screenwriting and even writing a ton of books, I was a marketing manager and business developer.
I recently realized that I have never been unemployed. I started working when I was 9 (over 35 years of work experience) at my parents’ pastry shop as a cashier and 9 years later got my first job in a gas station. I held many many many different job titles until today. I left jobs on my own and was never fired. I don’t believe that I am different than any of you. But, if I am not different, I must have done things differently. I wrote 35 books on self and business development that took also major research in “what makes someone successful in every way”.
I want to share with you 5 things that I did during my life to never be unemployed and to always find a job around the corner. Hopefully, these tips will help you. I also want to share 10 tips that will help you find a job faster.
5 things 1 did:
1- I always always aimed to be THE best.
“The price of success is hard work, dedication to the job at hand, and the determination that whether we win or lose, we have applied the best of ourselves to the task at hand. ” Vince Lombardi
I would look at the person who was the best in the company (most promoted. paid more, received the most accolades) and then, I would aim at being better. The gold medal is often only .000000001 more than the silver medal. If you are the gold medalist, chances are, you won’t be the first to go. Not the second, the third… actually, you will be the last they will let go. You become indispensable.
“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.” Steve Jobs
2- I always educated myself in the field I worked in
“The joy of learning is as indispensable in study as breathing is in running. Where it is lacking there are no real students, but only poor caricatures of apprentices who, at the end of their apprenticeship, will not even have a trade.” Simone Weil
When I was hired as a marketing manager for a real estate and mortgage company, I spent all my free time reading and learning (eating, sleeping, talking, walking) about the new job. At some point I knew enough to write articles in the local papers about the industry. When you know more, you are paid more. Again, you are indispensable. And, by the way, that knowledge greatly helped later invest in real estate.
3- I always kept my options open.
“Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it’s about having a lot of options.” Chris Rock
If you depend on one company, one job, one line of work, one title, one pay check, your options considerable slim down. And your stress level increases radically. Therefore, you want to have more options. Diversify your knowledge.
“Do one thing every day that scares you.” –Eleanor Roosevelt
Learn something new every day. Read about the market you are in, read about the opportunities in other companies. Always keep your eyes open.
4- When I worked, I worked
“If it’s your job to eat a frog, it’s best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it’s your job to eat two frogs, it’s best to eat the biggest one first. “Mark Twain
I used my time wisely, did what was the most important first. Asked my bosses what were their priorities so I could focus on those. I didn’t spend time making friends socializing at the coffee machine. I did what I needed to do, the best I could, the fastest I could. Socializing gets you so far but when bosses look at their bottom line, that part of the work life never appears on there. And rarely (although it happens) do you keep “job” friends for life. So you spent or wasted all that time with people who would rather see you go than loose their jobs… Food for thought. I wasn’t liked by the co-workers and I was OK with that. I can’t stand small talk about reality TV or complaints about the boss. Remember the theory of the bucket of crabs…
“Don’t wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.” Mark Twain
But, when I gave my resignation, presidents and vice presidents of huge corporations came down from the upper floor trying to keep me in. What counts more? And frankly and humbly, I rather make friends with the big cheese. Not because I am an ass kisser. I had major and sometimes loud arguments with the big cheeses but, I was talking and learning from people at the highest level of the food chain who could help me become better inside and out. When I was a kid, I was bullied for being a nerd. Gifted, I skipped 4 years and ended with people much taller, much larger and not so much nicer (or smarter). I became friends with teachers because at least I could talk with someone who would listen and answer. I guess that stuck with me.
5- When I looked, I wasn’t finicky and I hustled
“Big jobs usually go to the men who prove their ability to outgrow small ones.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson
When I searched for a job, I knew my worth but I wasn’t going to not apply because I felt the job wasn’t good enough. I went in to get a job, any job. I knew I was going to climb the ladder anyway. When I moved to France in 1996, I absolutely wanted a job, fast. I saw an add for a position in the largest french magazine publisher in the world. I knew they probably received a thousand letters and I was not going to wait to find out if mine made it to the top. The company was seriously protected (against terrorist attacks). You need to show a badge to get in but I convinced the guards to let me pass.
I got hired as the assistant of an advertising director for a magazine that had just been launched. Why? The recruiter was stunned that I found my way in to her as their offices were moving and, of course…the guards. So I got a job immediately, on the spot, without an interview. She said she had never seen such determination. I really didn’t want to be someone’s assistant when I had just graduated with a Master’s degree but heck, I had a job. I didn’t know anything abut advertising but I was really good in sales. The director got sick and I was asked to sell the ads for the magazine.
“Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell ’em, ‘Certainly I can!’ Then get busy and find out how to do it.” –Theodore Roosevelt
I studied day and night to learn everything their was to know about advertising sales. I even took the role of being the magazine editor (not paid for it of course) and did the magazine layout. Within 8 months, I surpassed the year sales’ objectives. Bam! From there on, The VP’s door was always open to me. And if you know the French’s strong hierarchy system, you would know how big that was.
“Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “press on” has solved and will always solve the problems of the human race.” –Calvin Coolidge
So there, 5 things I did that made me never get fired or be unemployed. The last one, obviously, is that I have been my own boss for the last 10 years. And I won’t fire myself, I think I am too good at it. I guess I’ll keep myself and maybe give myself a raise 🙂
The 10 tips to find a job.
1- Never say you are desperately looking, begging for help. NEVER EVER. Instead say what you want to receive.
“Wherever you are, be there totally. If you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have three options: remove yourself from the situation, change it, or accept it totally. If you want to take responsibility for your life, you must choose one of those three options, and you must choose now. Then accept the consequences.” Eckhart Tolle
There is nothing that works least in your favor than telling everyone how long you have been unemployed. People will not feel compassionate (and do you really want pity from a potential employer?). They will question your capacities. Saying “I am the best in my field but been unemployed for 6 months” doesn’t sound real.
Instead of desperate self pity that is absolutely not attractive, say loud and clear what you do want and why you are the best for it. I often see these pity seeking posts from job seekers who explain in depth why they can’t find work without even stating what they do and what they want. What a waste of public visibility.
2- People see what you do all the time. How you do one thing is how you do everything.
“While you are searching for a job, it is a good idea to be on your best behavior.” Judy Smith
Watch how you behave online. Do not criticize, blame, put down, share personal pictures or take political sides. Use social media for one purpose and one only, shine as bright as you can. People always know and people are looking. Even if you don’t see that a recruiter saw your post, they might have. And they might pass on you as a candidate because of your behavior, thoughts, outspokenness. If you piss on the last job you had, chances are the next job will pass the opportunity of being pissed on in the future.
3- Change your profile statement
If you have anything really valuable to contribute to the world it will come through the expression of your own personality, that single spark of divinity that sets you off and makes you different from every other living creature. Bruce Barton
Instead of writing “looking for a new career opportunity” which is so long and boring. Remember our attention spam is decreasing every day. And on a mobile device we won’t see anything else than “looking for a new…” very boring and a pass at wanting to be linked. Why? Because most of us will immediately think “Oh, boy, another person who will want to take something from me” thinking “without giving me anything of value in return”. Time is our most valued and precious possession and no one wants to waste it.
I hate it when seeing someone looking for “health benefits”. It feels like someone trying to take advantage without having anything to offer.
Make your profile fun and exiting. “Am looking to save more lives” for a lot of professions, that would work and at least get you a double take. “I want to make your business a success”. ” The best … is available for hire now”. Get it? Make it appealing and fun.
Speak of what you offer and not what you want to take away. Don’t sell but makes us want to buy.
I saw this camera man’s profile who stated “I shoot people for fun”. I will remember him for a long time.
4- Use this time wisely
Don’t be fooled by the calendar. There are only as many days in the year as you make use of. One man gets only a week’s value out of a year while another man gets a full year’s value out of a week. Charles Richards
So, you don’t have a job, we got that. You can cry on your poor life for ever or enjoy these days free from work, especially if you were complaining about the job before you lost it (remember the law of attraction). You might want to look into starting your own company. You might want to take some time off and see if what you were doing really made you happy or if it gives you a great opportunity to walk in a different direction.
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. Steve Jobs
Enjoy time with your kids and friends. I remember one of my very good friends was looking for a job and I told her exactly that. She understood that it might be the time to rest and prepare for being super busy in the right job. She worked on herself to become a better person. And before she knew it, Bam! She got a job offer that responded to her wildest dreams.
According to the law of attraction, you attract what you focus on the most. If you don’t believe it, fine, it works anyway just like the law of gravity does. If you focus on lack, you will attract more lack. If you focus on all the positive, you will attract more of the positive.
Also, while studying how the brain works, I realized that the more you think a thought, the more you send the command to your brain to find you more of the same. Like if at a control panel, we were signaling what the radar should search for. The brain has a radar and when you think the same thought over and over, this radar will search for similarities. If you think “I don’t have a job, am dying out here, I can’t find work, the money is getting low” guess what the radar will seek for. And if you write it and complain about it, it gets worse.
“Never say anything about yourself you do not want to come true.” –Brian Tracy
5- Be grateful (yeah it’s important)
“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” Oprah Winfrey
Which leads me here. If you are not spiritual, realize that gratitude provokes your brain to create endorphin which helps decrease stress, anxiety and depression which climbs when you are jobless.
Under stress, your brain blocks for many reasons too long to explain here. With endorphin, your brain starts working again. You will develop more creative solutions. That will help you be open to more opportunities, see jobs more clearly and find them more easily. And you will be much better in job interviews.
“It’s important that what thoughts you are feeding into your mind because your thoughts create your belief and experiences. You have positive thoughts and you have negative ones too. Nurture your mind with positive thoughts: kindness, empathy, compassion, peace, love, joy, humility, generosity, etc. The more you feed your mind with positive thoughts, the more you can attract great things into your life.” Roy T. Bennett
Take a few moments every day to write down what you are really grateful for. It might be that you are healthy or have a spouse, or are alive. Feel the joy of the gratitude. Fill your lungs with air and as they expand relax. Don’t focus solely on the missing piece of cake but on the whole cake.
“Let us rise up and be thankful, for if we didn’t learn a lot today, at least we learned a little, and if we didn’t learn a little, at least we didn’t get sick, and if we got sick, at least we didn’t die; so, let us all be thankful.” Buddha
“An investment in knowledge pays the best interest”. Benjamin Franklin
Yes, take this time to become the best of your field. Or learn a new skill. Or improve yourself, become a better you. Educate yourself. It will open your mind to more and better and therefore you will get better offers…
If you want to learn about the law of attraction http://attractitude.us/know-it-all-to-have-it-all/ or the brain power http://attractitude.us/boost-your-brain-power-sales/ , I have spent a decade developing these courses for you and offer them for only $47. Together, some 22 hours of audio courses that have helped the lives of thousands of people like you. In any case, learn!
Learn more about yourself and what you really want to be and do.
“Yes, I’ve made a great deal of dough from my fiction, but I never set a single word down on paper with the thought of being paid for it … I have written because it fulfilled me. Maybe it paid off the mortgage on the house and got the kids through college, but those things were on the side—I did it for the buzz. I did it for the pure joy of the thing. And if you can do it for the joy, you can do it forever.” Stephen King
7- Increase the number of connections
“It doesn’t matter if you’re the smartest person in the room: If you’re not someone who people want to be around, you won’t get far.” Melissa Rosenberg
When (and please only when) you have changed the title in your profile, connect to people. Grow your network. Not as a beggar but genuinely talk to people about what you love and connect to find out what they love.
The more people you know, the more someone you know might know of someone needing what you have to offer.
“You get what you want by helping people getting what they want.” Zig zigglar
8- Work somewhere for free
“For it is in giving that we receive.” Francis of Assisi
Why not? You have nothing better to do. Give your time to a charity. Contribute generously with your time. Yes, the more you give, the more you get. It will help improve your self worth and you will stop thinking about your problems while you are there. And you don’t know who you might meet at one of those charities. Remember, everybody ends up finding out and everybody watches.
9- Get involved in association
“The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don’t wait for good things to happen to you. If you go out and make some good things happen, you will fill the world with hope, you will fill yourself with hope.” Barack Obama
Find local associations that work in your field and go to their meetings. You might find potential employs. Dress for the part, act the part and look for the part. In any case, you will be “doing” instead of feeling a victim of your circumstances.
10- Get help
“A mentor is someone who allows you to see the hope inside yourself.” — Oprah Winfrey
Seek a mentor. Get a coach. Find a supportive group (not to moan and cry on your pitiful self) to use as a mastermind or energy booster.
When you really need help, people will respond. Sincerity means dropping the image facade and showing a willingness to be vulnerable. Tell it the way it is, lumps and all. Don’t worry if your presentation isn’t perfect; ask from your heart. Keep it simple, and people will open up to you. Jack Canfield
If you find it helpful, please share, comment…
Many people are asking for my services in helping them write their book or write a screenplay about a particular story they have. As you may already know, I am a successful entrepreneur who published 34 books about self and business improvement. At times, I finished 6 books in a year which is more than some people in a lifetime. Jack Canfield (the best selling author of the 500 million copies sold of Chicken soup for the soul) told me that he had never met someone who had written as many books as he had. So far, I have won 3 best sellers and 12 awards for Best Original Screenplays.
As a business developer and marketing manager, a business and personal coach, I have helped thousands of people improve their life, business, finances… I created a unique blend of very powerful tools to enable one to reach outrageous goals in a fraction of the time. I combine methods of brain reprogramming, time management, law of attraction, success principles and other methods to holistically improve ones life in ways you wouldn’t have dreamed of before starting. I have seen positive spectacular results every single time.
And yes, I add writing a book to the blend if necessary. If you want to write a book and get it published, know that time is of essence. There is a curb of success you must know when starting. The longer your project lasts, the least chances you have of completing it. 90% of people dream of writing a book and 90% who start do not finish.
The other question you must ask is who are you writing the book for. If you want a book to help you become successful financially, you must do some steps before you start.
I create a $197 12 week step by step course from start to finish to help you finish a book, get it published and be successful with it (http://publishin90days.com/sales-page-write-your-book/). Know that a book can drastically improve your success in business and career if you use it properly. A book is just a start and not an end in itself. You need to fully leverage the potential a book offers you. And that’s why people hire me.
If you are interested in going further in your business or career development or have a book project you want to complete, I can definitely help.
I charge $2700 per month for 3 months to help someone holistically achieve more success and write a book with everything it includes (writing, successful mindset, law of attraction, reprogramming the brain…) That includes an hour skype session as well as unlimited email correspondence. It also includes proofreading and editing a book (which is $3500 separately).
If you feel you have a compelling story to tell that would be a great movie. I do offer screenwriting services as well.
This is how I see your story becoming a movie and all the steps that I believe are needed.
1- We sign an NDA to protect both of us in the exchanges about the movie and other related ideas. At this point, I will ask you to give me a brief summary of the story or synopsis so I can tell you if I feel it has potential and also if I am the right person to write your story.
2- We sign a contract of you hiring me to tell your story. I would basically transform your story into a screenplay. As mentioned, my fee for the moment goes like this: $5,000 upon signing the agreements, $2500 upon receiving first draft and last $2500 upon completion of project.
3- We sign an agreement to “co-author” the movie. This would allow you to benefit from the sale of the rights of the movie, option of the movie or any benefits resulting in producing the movie. In this partnership, we will split 50-50 the revenues from the movie (where 50% is your share of the profits). Since I will be completely involved in selling your project, I feel the need to receive a share of the profits.
Choices will be to either get it optioned (meaning the rights are sold with some discretion to a studio or independent film production company) or I find funding to have the movie produced from A to Z.
Once those are in place, I will do the following.
1- We will have a few phone (or Skype) discussions so that I can get your story in writing.
2- I will write the first draft and send it to you.
3- Once the movie is completely written, I will:
a- List it on all appropriate websites internationally to be visible by potential producers and directors.
b- Contact my current list of contacts to have your movie optioned.
c- Open the door to potential investors who would fund the movie.
d- Place it on all appropriate festivals to get scene and read by professionals in the industry.
e- List it with a literary agent (if necessary).
f- Be in charge of all the details pertaining to your movie.
*Prices are subject to change without notice.
I get booked very quickly so time is of essence as usual.
You can always email me at email@example.com
Some of you may not know that I truly enjoyed playing beach volley ball even if I am far from being a good player. While playing, I found that a lot of the best players’ skills were identical to habits a successful entrepreneur, any leader or anyone who seeks to improve one’s level of success, needs to develop. I compounded them into 10 skills you can easily master and that will surely improve your “game”.
1- You are always as lousy as your worse player.
If your want your team to lead, if you want your company to move forward and if you want to get any recognition for your hard work, you need to do either two things: Improve the people you work with or change teams. Your company will never move faster than the slowest element of the group.
Also, you will never advance faster than the speed of what slows you down the most. You need to look not only at your top qualities (the ones that make you successful) but at the chains holding you back (what you need to learn and improve, change or let go of).
2- You can’t play alone, you need a team
You can never win alone. Even if you are the best player, you need a support system to allow you to shine. Arrogant players often make the horrible mistake of wanting the game to themselves instead of making a strategic pass and usually end up hitting the ball out of the field.
3- Too many players will trip over each other.
Sounds evident. Yet, some companies will overcrowd offices, thinking they will maximize profits by decreasing working space leading to less productivity. Also, as Parkinson and his studies pointed out, you need to know when to stop hiring staff. It is better to spend the time to hire some leading experts in a field and pay them well then to fill up an office with incompetency.
This is also true in your personal life. Are you overcrowding it by too many activities or too many friends (that are not lifting you higher).
4- You need to stay in your position
When playing fours on the court, there are usually two hitters, one setter, one receiver (who takes care of the back of the court). I have seen so many accidents occur when players decide to take another role then the one they were on the field for.
The same goes in your employment. Ask your boss what your priorities are and stick to what you are supposed to do. If you are the boss, look at what your company is best at and stick to that vertical. Many companies fail because they try to spread too widely.
5- When you miss, it’s your bad but when you win, it’s a team’s effort.
Responsibility is key. You always need to take 100% of it for everything that happens in your business and personal life.
Also, remember to praise in public and criticize in private. Remember where you come from and who helped you when times were tough. Remember to acknowledge those who support you throughout your journey.
6- As soon as you make a mistake, learn and move on quickly
I usually beat myself up when I am not the best out there. But we are all learning in some way or form. What I learned from playing is that you are most likely to repeat the same mistake again if you dwell on it.
Instead, I was taught to practice the right move over and over right after. I teach reprogramming the brain for success and that is really it. You need to impress your subconscious with what you want the outcome to be and not drive your life to what you fear might go wrong by overthinking the negative.
7- If you want to play often, you need to be loud and play fearlessly
I found this true in business and life as well. Mr. Worldwide (305) says so himself “success is 10% talent and 90% marketing”. If you want to get noticed out there with your product, your thoughts, your ideas, your projects; you better be prepared to get louder than anyone else. You need to work harder, stay longer, and beat your drum like no one else. Like Will Smith would say “if I am on the treadmill against someone else, I will either die or win”.
And yes, play fearlessly. We all feel scared at times but you need to force your mind and body to move forward past the fear. Because success is located outside your comfort zone and getting out of the comfort zone is one of the scariest things. “You need to feel the fear and do it anyway.”
8- You need to have a strategy and a set of winning procedures if you want to lead.
Plan, plan, plan. Too many people act without planning and fail. Like Franklin said “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail” or Lincoln “Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the ax”. Remember that an hour of planning saves you 10 hours of execution.
List your successes and fails and focus on your successes in order to create a successful way of doing things. Humbly I can say that I have done many different things in my life and been successful at them because I believe success is a way of being and doing. Learn what process works for you (or learn proven strategies of success) and then apply them consistently.
9- If you play with better players, you tend to improve your game. If your opposing team is not skilled, you will lower your game level to match theirs.
Was is Confucius who said “If you are the smartest in the room, you are in the wrong room”? If you stick around people who are less successful, you will never be pulled upwards in achieving more success.
I remember when I started playing, I was scared because I knew nothing of the game. I was very successful in other fields and even full of myself with my knowledge, reputation and the teachings I could give.
It was tough to do something I was the least knowledgeable of the group at. It taught me humility and the ability to expand in new directions, be teachable, be more open minded and broaden my perspectives.
Tai Lopez speaks of the law of 33, where 33% of your time should be spent with people who know more than you (even if those are dead – by reading), 33 with people you pull and 33 with people who are at the same level.
Mirror the people you aspiring to be like. Contact them, ask for mentors and for help, hang out in associations and groups where you would not usually go. Learn to learn and to be flexible. Learn to grow.
10- Play to win or you will lose.
Again, sounds evident but I hear so many people “try”. I will “try it and see how it goes”. That’s the sentence from hell that is sure to lead you to fail. Grab life with both hands and decide to ride it the way you want it to be and learn how. When you start a project, aim for the gold, aim for the number one position.
I am writing screenplays keeping in mind that I will win Oscars, Emmys and Globes (among other things) . I write because I cannot see myself doing otherwise but since I am doing it anyway why aim for mediocrity.
11- One extra for the road: You need to know that you can win
I remember many times in my life when I won not necessarily because I was better than anyone but because I was more certain than anyone that I would win. I remember playing a game of chess in College (two against the Canadian champion). He was playing against 21 teams. It was quite impressive. There was no chance we would beat him but we did, the only team out of the 21.
I remember applying for jobs with the absolute certainty that I was going to get it. Once, for Air Canada. Over 12,500 candidates for 150 spots for a flight attendant position. Another time, I even said it to the interviewer. I told him that I knew this job was mine. Since it was a sales job and I “sold” myself so well, I was so convincing that they hired me.
You need to boost your self esteem, your self love and build your confidence. We never get more than what we believe we deserve and we never ever get more than how much we are. You get who you are.
As Wayne Dyer would say ” change the way you look at things and the things you look at will change.” Change the way you look at yourself and the others will see you differently.
12- Another for the road: You need to visualize your win.
If you can’t imagine it, you will never ever get there, no matter your effort. If you can imagine it, you will get there even if you have no clue as to how it will become.
13- OK this is the last one: You need to live in the present moment and empty your brain from anything that is not in the “right here, right now”.
From one of my favorite movies “Way of the Peaceful Warrior”, “you need to get the trash out. The trash is what ever is keeping you from this moment right here and now. And when you do, you will be amazed by what you can achieve.”
When you stay focused, you can truly surpass any limits you thought you had and reach summits you could only dream of.
As I was taking my morning walk alongside the beach, I felt incredibly happy. Nothing particular had happened except for the habitual crashing of the waves, flocks of pelicans’ skimming on the ocean’s surface, children’s giggles and the sun’s warmth piercing through the puffy white clouds. As my toes disappeared in the sand, I asked myself about the true meaning of happiness.
I have coached tons of people in the last 10 years and studied the many laws that govern success. All of us want what happiness, right? But what is it really? And why is it so important? Please stay tuned even if you think you know the answers as it might not be what you think.
Evidently happiness is not linked to possessions or status or even the reaching of goals. Most of us know this, others still believe that by acquiring more, the soul will feel fulfilled. But, we all know that, as soon as we reach a goal, acquire something we wanted for so long, or get to a new level of achievements, we move on to the next. Most of us do not even spend a second in rejoicing in what was supposed to make us happy. That’s where the saying “the journey, not the destination”…
So what then? And how can one remain in that state all the time (and yes, it is possible)? but first, why? Why is happiness so important. I know it seems obvious. But is it? Here are some reasons why happiness if so important in your life.
Two premises need to be understood. Happiness is equivalent to the love of life. And, the mind, body and soul can process only one feeling or thought at the time. Therefore, when there is happiness, joy or love; there cannot be a simultaneous sadness, fear, anger, hate…
The love of life is antonym to fear or death. The love of life will bring you more positive experiences. More reasons for the mind, body and soul to stay in life rather than drift towards death. Life is expansive, it is knowledge, curiosity, enthusiasm. You will experience more of these feelings and experiences while loving life. While death is dis-ease (the lack of ease), leading to fear, stress, anxiety and sickness.
Happiness is antonym to sadness and stress. The happier you feel, the less stress you experience. Stress being a major cause of health disasters, the happier you feel, the healthier you will be. You will sleep, digest, and even think better. Happiness provokes endorphin hormones in the brain which helps you learn faster, find creative solutions, solve problems, leading to less stress. And there goes the merry-go-round.
When studying neuroscience, the universal laws of prosperity and even quantum physics (which lead me to the same conclusions), I found that happiness will attract more of the same. The more you focus on something, the more your brain will lead you to more of the same. The law of attraction premise goes in the same direction. Therefore, the happier you feel, the more chances you have of experiencing circumstances that will make you happy.
But then, you say, how can I be happy all the time? Especially when things don’t go as I want them to? How can I decide of my emotions?
You need to be aware that you are always in control of your emotions. The only thing is that you have decided, at some point, to place them on auto-pilot, and to constantly re-act to your outer circumstances. When you switch gears to manual control, you will realize that your outer circumstances will start to change, that the outer world will re-act to your emotions and not the other way around.
My favorite quote from Wayne Dyer is “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change.”
If I ask you to think about the saddest day of your life, and if you do, your mood will change to sadness. If I then immediately ask you to think of the happiest day you have experienced in your life, your mood will change abruptly, even though nothing will have changed in the outside world. How come? Your mind via your thoughts controls your emotions.
How then can we “practice” happiness? I chose the word “practice” because that is what it truly is. You can practice stress, doubts, fears, anxiety or you can practice happiness, gratitude, appreciation, love… Because of the law of substitution, you cannot feel two emotions at the same time. What you give your experience to (your thoughts, energy…) that is what you practice. The more you practice, the better you become at resorting to that option first and the more comfortable you become in that state of being.
Comfort is always attracting us back to it. That is the place where we feel safe and secure. If your place of safety is stress and anxiety, you will create a life that leads you to feel more of the same. That is how the brain works. It follows orders (you can learn more about that in my system “Boost your Brain Power” here).
In the next article, I will give you 10 ways you can feel happier and practice happiness daily until you become a master of happiness and witness in awe how your world shifts to incredible positive circumstances.
If you want to learn how to reach your goals at Godspeed, I created a 16 hours course to help you, click here: http://attractitude.us/know-it-all-to-have-it-all/
After watching numerous interviews with successful people in many different industries and reading tons of books on the subject trying to understand how one can become successful, I noticed a pattern or, at least 10 similarities (or rules) that came up every time.
One might begin by questioning the definition of the word “success”. I won’t go into that simply because, at the the root of it, lies the same wanting, the same craving: to become more than what and who we are. As Kundera, one of my favorite authors would say “Anyone whose goal is ‘something higher’ must expect someday to suffer vertigo. What is vertigo? Fear of falling? No, Vertigo is something other than fear of falling. It is the voice of the emptiness below us which tempts and lures us, it is the desire to fall, against which, terrified, we defend ourselves.”
1- You got to be in the present moment.
All of them agree that too much time and energy are wasted when worrying about the future or dwelling on the past. Your power lies in the “now”.
2- Love what you do
As all say it: If you don’t love it enough, you will quit and that’s why most people do. You will be challenged, there will be problems. Your passion can help you overcome all obstacles. As Wayne Dyer would say it “Doing what you love is the cornerstone of having abundance in your life.”
Know that you will fall, you will have problems, it will be tough. But as J.K. Rowlings says “It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default.”
Hang in there. The hurricane shall pass. Nothing ever lasts. Stay with it, walk through the storm. Move forward everyday. No matter what, don’t quit. You cannot fail if you don’t stop. Like Winston Churchill said “If you are going through Hell, keep on going.” And also, “Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
And then you will say it just like Barry Manilow in his song “I made it through the rain.” Because nothing ever lasts, enjoy the success while it last and prepare for the next hurricane.
4- Don’t do it for the money
The richest people in the world never did it for the money. That’s where most people get it wrong. They get into a field for the money and quit because the love is not there. Love what you do, the money will come. As Matthew McConaughey in the movie “Gold”: “We never did it for the money, we did it for the gold.” There is a big difference.
All successful people quiet their minds, void the noise. In the silence, you will find the answers. Mostly, you will find peace. As Warren Buffet says “I insist on a lot of time being spent, almost every day, to just sit and think. That is very uncommon in American business. I read and think. So I do more reading and thinking, and make less impulse decisions than most people in business. I do it because I like this kind of life.”
6- Be the best
You don’t need to be perfect. As Dali would say “Have no fear of perfection – you’ll never reach it.” You just need to be better. The better you are, the more noticeable you will become. Work on your craft day in and day out. As Will Smith says “When others sleep, I work. When others eat, I work.” If you are the best, you will not feel the need to prove yourself. You will be honest and have integrity because you will know, you are better. And those two qualities are worth gold. As Einstein would say “Try not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value.”
Don’t underestimate others by creating a low quality product. You will not cheat others, you’ll end up cheating yourself.
7- Believe in yourself
No one will ever believe in you more than you. At the beginning of anything, your belief and confidence will be the only allies you will have. But the more you believe and have confidence, the more the others will listen and, eventually follow. As Marianne Williamson would say “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
8- Dream big
You are the one who can set your limits. You have the choice, the power and responsibility to be limitless. As Les Brown would say “Shoot for the moon and if you miss you will still be among the stars.” or Leo Burnett “When you reach for the stars you may not quite get one, but you won’t come up with a handful of mud either.”
If you start with low expectations, you never get big results.(That’s my quote). And then, imagine yourself there, act as if you were already there. Before you know it, you will be.
9- Surround yourself with the best
Build a great team or a mastermind group of piers. Remember that successful people talk about goals and ideas, sharing them and getting feed back on how to improve. As Jim Rohn would say “you’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.” Chose carefully. If you cannot find 5 friends that have the statues, income, relationship, you want; chose among the deceased: read books.
10- Stay hungry
Never take anything for granted. Stay open, stay curious, stay enthusiastic. Never settle for something less than what you dreamed of. As Warren Buffet “read, read, read” as he reads 5-6 hours per day. Educate yourself. As Tom Hiddleston would say “Stay hungry, stay young, stay foolish, stay curious, and above all, stay humble because just when you think you got all the answers, is the moment when some bitter twist of fate in the universe will remind you that you very much don’t.”
11- A last one for the road
Don’t give a damn about what others think. Most of the time, they think about what you might be thinking about them. Their opinions will vary and they won’t say most of what they really think. If you succeed, they might be jealous and pull you down to their level of comfort so that your light does not cause them to live in a shadow. You are the person you will spend the most time with, treasure that, first.
Hope this inspires and motivates. Please share with others, to spread the light.
This article concerns us all as we are always selling something even if not a sales professional. As soon as you want your point heard, contract signed, film produced, book read, date to call back, you are selling.
This technique is so simple and yet so efficient it may double your closing rate (or improve the relationships you currently have)
It’s the 5-5 written analysis.
Every time you end a meeting with anyone, spend 5-10 minutes answering these 2 simple questions:
1- What are the 5 things I could have improved? (ex: listening more, giving the other silence so they can think and reply, thinking about their objections before dismissing them…)
2- What are the 5 things I did well? (ex: tone of voice, presentation, made them laugh…)
By writing the answers, you will help your brain learn faster and your behavior will adjust at every single meeting which will make you exponentially improve your rate of success.
Most people have a tendency to beat themselves up if a meeting doesn’t end up as planned. By doing so, the brain only registers the negative therefore increasing the probabilities of you repeating the same mistake.
Trying next time you go on a date, meet a real estate client, talk to a potential partner, talk to your kids, …
Please let me know how it goes and share the knowledge.
This article is helpful for most people (employed or unemployed) on Linkedin as I see this mistake so often. The change is so simple and silly that most people don’t think about it. Yet, when you make it, you will notice the difference.
Linkedin is obviously a place to network and create new connections. Why do we want those? To increase our circle of influence, know someone who knows the someone we need to know, find a job, get a new client, …
In the regular world, we have about 30 seconds to one minute before the other person has a long lasting impression in their minds of the image we projected that very moment. We can change the effect we want to give depending on the person we meet.
In the fast pace social media world in which most of us live, we have about a fraction of a millisecond to make a good impression on that person. That impression is based on solely 2 criteria : your profile picture and your title. That’s it.
Imagine having a million books to read. You would not open each book and read its summary. You would check the cover, read the title. If those two appeal to you, you will try to find out more about the subject. On Linkedin, you need to be aware that you are your book cover, your own ad.
The worse for a job seeker is: to have no picture and write “job seeker” or “looking for new opportunities” in your title. Why?
1- The question about the picture is obvious : we are surrounded by scammers and the first step in trusting someone is seeing his face.
2- If you write “job seeker”, you appear as someone who lacks and not someone who offers anything. The first impression is “He has no job.”
Secondly, no one knows what you do. The person needing your services might not even look at your profile because they will not look at every “Job seeker’s profile.
If, on the contrary, you write “I am a deal closer and want to work for an outstanding real estate company”. “Experienced IT manager, contact to hire: with your email” ; ”Service is my middle name and I want to work for you”…
What does that say? Do you see how that changes it all?
Pay attention to those two small details and you will see a difference in the quality of people you connect with here. Remember your title is made for others to know you in a split of a second.
And lastly. Dare to connect. The more people you know, the better chances of giving what others need and getting what you want.
Please share this article so more benefit from it.
As a child, I was bullied. And this is why I believe it is one of the greatest gifts I received.
My parents immigrated from France to Canada when I was 8, reason being mostly the level of racism and xenophobia. My parents waited 17 years to get a French citizenship that would allow them to open a business. Instead, being Serbian, we heard “go back to your country” too often, but we couldn’t. Anyway, that’s besides the point.
When we moved, my parents wanted me to have the best education possible so they signed me up in a private school. When they tested my aptitudes and IQ, they told my parents I would have to skip 4 grades warning them it might cause sociability issues because of the huge age gap. My parents approved to have me skip 3 not realizing that it would still create a big problem in my capacity to be included.
Home equaled with violence, abuse and I was forced to shut up most of the time. I developed an almost pathological shyness. I would not talk much and would be scared to approach people I didn’t know. Imagine the fear I felt being in a new school, in a different country, with a language I had trouble understanding at the time.
In school, the age difference with some of the class mates was as high as 7 years, mostly 4 or 5. Still, when you are 9 or 10 and the others are 14 or 16, it creates a “grand canyon” gap in being able to develop friendships.
Because I didn’t jump 4 grades, I ended up being 1st in my class, especially in math. I solved most problems instantaneously in my mind which made the teachers love me and class mates despise me even more. I was a nerd wearing outdated clothes and thick glasses, incapable to stand up for myself or speak. The best victim there can be.
And so, you can image the rest. Yet, maybe not to this extend. My father had the thoughtful idea of offering me a camera, one of those small Kodaks. I loved it because it felt like a protection between me and the rest of the world. A way to express myself without words.
In school, I would take pictures of boys since I was not able to speak to any as I would automatically do something so clumsy, I would want to hide under the floor and vanish. That fear was intensified after a girl had ripped a photo I had given of me to a class mate I found very cute. An 18 year old “bad boy” who found it hilarious. Being dramatically mocked and humiliated in front of the class (which class mates stayed five years in the same school until graduation reminding me with nicknames of my stupid attempt) pretty much killed my reputation.
Because I took photos of boys, a tough girl became so jealous she decided to kill me. This could be a great movie but, at that time, she became a real threat to my life. Where was I going to complain? Not at home where I didn’t feel very welcomed. Not at school and be bullied even more by the others. I kept quiet. I kept quiet until I couldn’t keep quiet anymore.
She beat me up in hallways till I fell unconscious, leaving for dead. She threw me down stairs and as I laid bruised and beaten, I felt the feet of my classmates walk around me, on me. I was pushed in front of a car and thankfully survived. She ended up in a mental hospital.
I tell you all this ( the tip of the iceberg) not to claim some pity. On the contrary. It is to share the gratitude I feel of living such experiences. No, don’t worry. I am not crazy. Well, maybe a little, but aren’t we all?
Because of my shyness an inability to speak, I found the most safe reliable and trustworthy friends in books. I could escape the insanity surrounding me and travel, explore, think, become other people for a few pages. I could imagine living other lives. I could express all I felt through the voice of characters within the pages I flipped passionately. I read more than anyone I knew. I devoured books. A little over a decade later, I was a book critic and radio producer for 3 years, talking about something I knew more than well. Over 10 years of avid reading make me a book connoisseur at the age of 25. I never stopped.
Because of the camera my father gave me, I was able to analyse the world meticulously. Since I was not allowed to speak much, I tuned my listening skills. I silently observed and listened. Observed and listened.
I can honestly say that I love my life today so much, even I cannot find the words to describe the level of gratitude I feel when I am writing.
I still take pictures since I never stopped from when I was 8 years old. I continue observing and listening. All that accumulated information helps me create characters and stories. It helped me become highly empathetic and profoundly understand the “human condition”. It helped me help thousands of people thus far, and, more in the future.
I am not saying what happened to me is wonderful and should not be condemned. And of course, I would have perhaps preferred a different past. I am not saying what happened to me is wonderful and should not be condemned. On the contrary, measures should be taken to prevent children from suffering. And, of course, that different one could have led me to another profession that I might have loved as passionately. That being said, we can never compare something we are not experiencing. I truly believe that we cannot be wrong. We cannot get it wrong… If we follow our heart.
I still question what came first. Was I born a writer and needed these experiences to become better and find my purpose? Or did I find my purpose because of my past?
I was inspired to write this because I cross the paths of so many who blame the past scars and use them road blocks to accessing the realization of their hopes and dreams. When, in fact, if they would jump and follow their hearts, they would soon turn around and notice the connecting dots that made it all possible.
Most people feel stuck because they don’t move forward. I know it seems trivial. Why don’t they move forward? Because they invert these two fundamental questions?
What do I want?
How can I get it?
It seems so basic and easy but think about it. How many times did you stop yourself because you first asked the question “How can I get it?” before the other.
Most people wait to have all the answers to the second question before deciding on the first. That is where we get stuck.
You can’t open your parachute before you jump off the plane. You can’t inflate your life vest before you jump off the plane either or you might die inside the plane (this tragedy actually occurred in one of the rarest plane crashes on water where passengers inflated their life jackets on board the plane and drowned a few hundred feet from shore).
I do struggle with it too, at times. Not basing what we want to achieve on the reality we see around us. Now asking “how” before we know what and why.
Hope it helps you get moving.
Many people say that failure is a part of success.. I disagree. They confuse failing and stumbling on the road to success. Failure sucks! I hate it and I wish it nobody. We might stumble, miss a step, fall and get up. But failing feels horrible especially when they are ways to avoid most failures.
I could easily write a book about this subject but it would take slightly longer. Here are my top ten general reasons why most people fail.
1- You don’t know what you want.
Wait! Before you skip to the next one. Most people say “yeah, yeah, yeah, I know what I want.” But when I ask them, “what do you want, what is your 5 top goals in the next 5 years, 3, 2, 1, 6 months, 1 months, tomorrow, they become deer caught in headlights. Most people answers to the question “what do you want?” by thinking in terms of “what do I think possible for me to get considering the current circumstances.” which definitely limits your horizons.
2- No clarity
Then, I get the 5-10% of people who have kind of an idea of what they want. Very vague. Like if I would ask you where do you want to live and you answer Florida. You might end up in the swamps of the everglades in Florida with alligators as neighbors. You need to be precise to the extreme. Most people hesitate here because they don’t believe it is possible to get “exactly what you want” therefore they never get what they want, exactly.
3- No action plan
“I want a million bucks.” Great, I reply. How do you plan on getting there? I get reacquainted with the deer. Planning every step lives less to the odds. But then there is a small catch, you also need to…
Know consciously that shit is going to hit the fan. And being certain that you are ready but unexpected events. That your self confidence is high enough to take the blows and get up again. The boxer knows he is going to get beaten up. He expects it and knows he will have to take them to get to the end. Also, it is about knowing that you can never be 100% ready. So it means to…
4- Remain flexible. You will get obstacles. Welcome them with open arms, challenge them to come in great numbers and you can take them on. Why? Obstacles spices up life (that’s one) and secondly you need them to grow into the person you need to be to support the level of success you desire. For those that don’t believe the spice analogy. Remember the last trip you talked about. What was the thrilling part. The surprise of the view. The car that was towed. The plane tickets that were found at the last minute? Spices!
5- You have a plan “B”. As Will Smith puts it. If you don’t have a plan “B”, you make sure you succeed in plan A. That is why you have to be absolutely certain what you want is REALLY what YOU really want. And that you will accept nothing else, nothing less.
6- You listen to your demons. They whisper in your ear “you will fail!”, “You don’t need to do this”, “You are incapable to succeeding”, “Who do you think you are!”, “You were comfortable”, “Everyone is going to make fun of you”, … Going in a new direction or attempting to have much more success than you are used to will lead you out of your comfort zone which will automatically create a re-action causing anxiety, panic attacks, fear… It is normal and you should be thankful. Created by the same system which helped our species survive, that fear based reaction is positive. Listening and buying into it, that’s another thing.
7- You can’t imagine it. It can’t see yourself past the success you planed, you will never get there. You will always fail right before you achieve it. Again, you cannot have an “end”. If your goal is the “ultimate goal”, your system will block you from reaching it to protect you because it assimilates the end as your death. You need to be able to imagine and feel as if you have already achieved that goal. In others words, the goal you seek so much must become unimportant and slightly boring.
8- You change your mind along the way. If you change your plans at every bump, that resembles deciding to live in Alaska instead of Florida because you got caught in traffic along the way. You need to give it time and stick with the original idea.
9- You don’t have a time frame in mind. I know people who have worked on a project for years. They delay it every month. Eventually, the project becomes obsolete or they lose too much energy along the way.
10- You were not ready to accept the other side of the medal of success. Becoming successful also means having more responsibilities, doing more, dealing with more people, saying “no” more often, being more vigilant, delegating more, serving more, helping more…. You need to be ready to take the whole package deal of success, if you really want it.
Hope this helps. If you need a coach to get you there faster, showing you the bumps so you can avoid them and help you solve problems, get clear, deal with your own limitations. fears… contact me at slavica(inc)gmail.com.